What the World Wants From You is You
By Summer Bacon
I stumbled on an old piece of writing this morning. It was called "A City Girl Asks A Swami." I wrote it when I was 18 years old. It was written for our family friend, Swami Parampanthi.
I seem to periodically stumble across this work at the most interesting times in my life. It always serves as a reminder of where I have come from.
Recently I have been thinking about the fact that I tend to share so easily and earnestly of myself with the world, warts and all. If you attend my open sessions, read these newsletters, or if you read my autobiography, (free reading on my website), you know what I mean.
Well, guess what? As I'll explain later, apparently exposing myself publicly to the world is exactly what I had in mind when I incarnated. Now, this is kind of odd to me, since I started my earth journey as a very self-conscious, insecure, and shy little girl.
I painfully remember one of the great opportunities that eluded me because of my insecurity and shyness. When I was sixteen years old, I was a huge fan of the television show, The Waltons, and had a major crush on John-Boy, played by Richard Thomas. So, when I had the opportunity to attend a sleepover party with a bunch of girls at my best friend, Robbie's (Roberta's) house, which would include the actress, Mary Elizabeth McDonough, who played Erin on the show, I jumped at the chance. There were about ten girls at the sleepover. We stayed up late, eating, drinking sodas, talking and giggling.
Well, okay, everyone else was talking.
I just sat there with my knees pulled up to my chest, stone silent, terrified to speak in front of Mary, afraid I would make a fool of myself. I went home the next day having said absolutely not one word to anyone! And, I felt horribly sheepish and disgusted with myself at having lost the opportunity to make a special new friend. Mary, after all, was just a person like myself. And...sigh...she had actually been in the presence of the ever-so-dreamy John-Boy.
My deep insecurity with public speaking continued way into my mid-thirties, even after I had begun channeling Dr. Peebles.
But, it was Dr. Peebles, through his former trance medium, Thomas Jacobson, who prepared me for my future life as a speaker and teacher, and showed me the joys that can come from vulnerability.
It was 1988, and I attended Thomas' open sessions (known as The Gathering Place) twice a week. I'd make the hour and a half trek from the San Fernando Valley to Santa Monica, just to soak up the juicy bits of love and wisdom that Dr. Peebles had to offer his audience. During this time, I came to know Thomas as a very good acquaintance, and one evening I was at last invited to join his group of friends at a restaurant after the open session. I was only 27 years old at the time, and the youngest member of the group. Everyone around me was so worldly and wise. I was absolutely fascinated by the conversation, but I was also too embarrassed and shy to contribute to it. I figured that no one would want to hear what I have to say about anything.
I had a private session with Dr. Peebles through Thomas, and asked him about the group, and told him that I felt that no one wanted to hear what I had to say about things. He didn't miss a beat and said, immediately, "Have you ever tried speaking?"
Gulp.
No, I hadn't, I admitted. And, I immediately resolved to speak up at the next group gathering at the restaurant.
This was not easy for me at all. I was sweating and shaking as I struggled to feel the right timing to speak. Don and Linda Pendleton (the authors of "To Dance With Angels," a book about Thomas and Dr. Peebles) were there, and to me, they were so glamorous as they smoked cigarettes from long black cigarette holders, and used big words as they spoke of lofty spiritual things. They were enchanting and delightful.
The conversation soon turned to ghosts and poltergeists, something I knew a lot about from my own firsthand encounters. I knew this was my chance to speak, and I quickly gulped down a big swig of beer to gain the courage to do it. It's hard to explain how lively this group of 20 or so spiritual seekers was when they gathered. The food and drink flowed, and the conversation gained a roaring momentum as everyone bantered back and forth with their own spiritual ideologies, often cracking jokes and ending up in fits of giggles. So, there I sat, as meek as could be, my hands folded nervously in my lap, and I cleared my throat to speak.
"Um, I have something to say, um, with your permission," I squeaked.
To my complete and utter surprise, the entire table went completely silent, and some of the guests shifted forward in their seats. After a pause that seemed like an eternity to me, Linda smiled broadly and, giggling a little bit, said, "Why yes! Of course! We'd love to hear from you!"
I proceeded to tell them about one of my firsthand ghost encounters, and I was amazed at everyone's rapt attention. What followed, completely befuddled me. They started to ask me questions! I mean, this was a group of highly intelligent, articulate, successful, amazing people, and they wanted to know what I thought about things!
Well, I was hooked. From that day forward, I chose never to hold back my knowledge from the world ever again. I had faced one of my greatest fears.
But, it wasn't quite conquered yet. It would be another decade before I would finally become comfortable speaking in front of groups, the larger, the better.
So, how do I know that had planned before my incarnation, that I would eventually expose myself to the world in this way? Well, for one thing, I had visions of this from the time I was around five years old. I saw myself on stage, talking to the public about all things spiritual. As you might remember, I knew from the time I was eleven months old that I wanted to find out once and for all "what this truth thing is about." And, then, there's that piece of writing when I was 18 years old. Here's a portion of what I wrote (albeit, a bit melodramatic):
"Swami, I know I can work to become a screenplay writer, or children's book author, but I want to work towards being renowned as The One Who Showed Us Herself and Showed Us Ourselves. It does not matter if this comes with Life or in Death. It matters only that it comes. If it does not come, it matters only now to me that I have placed it as my highest priority. I feel that ,in the end, I am not the only one who shall reap the benefits. There can be a chain reaction of sorts; as one person brings me to a higher level, I bring with me another, and that person (we hope) can bring another and so on."
Little did I know that, when I wrote this, this would actually become the life that I would eventually lead (many thanks to Dr. Peebles).
I have seen in my work the results of what being vulnerable in the world can do. It's no easy task to let spirit take over my body and made funny sounds, and funny faces using my body. It's not easy to allow spirit to speak on any topic, and share information that to me would seem random and senseless (but is wholly important to the individual receiving it). I've said it before, and I'll say it again, this is a really strange way to make a living.
But, the truth is, it works, and I have seen people uplifted by it, and lives changed for the better, including mine. By overcoming my own insecurities, fears, and expectations about the world, I have thrown myself into a wonder-world filled with people of like mind and like heart. I have made long lasting friendships with people whom I can share my life openly. By not hiding myself away, and by speaking my truth (and sometimes, I admit, I can be a little too raw), I have the great joy of hearing people's empathetic laughter, gasps of self awareness, and see their nods of appreciative knowing. Instead of pushing people away, my vulnerability has invited people closer. And, it has also invited Spirit closer, and hence my work as a trance medium. I've gotten a hand up from Spirit, and now Spirit can offer a hand up to others. And, as I've seen through the years, my clients go forward with what they have learned, and educate and offer a hand up to others. It's a beautiful chain reaction that offers hope, love and freedom to the world.
Yes, some people in my life dropped away when they found out about my mediumship. But others, who understand me more deeply, found their way into my heart and my life, and I now have lasting friendships. My family, skeptical and concerned at first about my work, now consults with Dr. Peebles on a variety of issues.
It's that thing that Dr. Peebles calls, "a life beyond your wildest dreams and imaginations."
Many years ago, when Dr. Peebles walked the earth, he said, "The world is my parish, and truth my authority." There were over 100,000 people at his memorial service in Los Angeles when he died.
And, when he spoke to me through Thomas many years ago, he said, "Summer, what the world wants from you, is you." And, I truly believe you can insert your name instead of mine in that phrase. Do it. It can really change the way you look at the world. "What the world wants from you, is YOU." In some respects it says the same thing as, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." In other words, do you want some semblance of your friends, or do you want the real deal? It's much easier to dance with the world when you know what rhythm is in their soul, so do them the honors first, and share your own rhythm with the world. Put yourself out there on the surface (with compassion and respect) and see what happens. If you are afraid to do it, why not take a chance and do it afraid: sort of like a scientific experiment to see how the world responds to the real you. Listen for the honest echo from life around you. It will be such freedom knowing that you no longer have to second guess what the world thinks about you. It will be very clear, and it will help you understand the next step in your life. Listen to the honest echo, and heck, go ahead and take it personally! Not in an angry sense, of course, but take the echo into your heart and see if it is the kind of echo you want to create in the world. If you really listen to how the world responds to you, you can change and grow!
Yes, it takes courage to put yourself into the equation of life. But, when you ultimately find yourself surrounded by people of like mind and like heart, there's nothing so enriching and comforting, and courage is no longer needed when it comes to being true to yourself.
Think of the wild and crazy painter, Picasso, and his contribution to the art world. If he'd painted in a closet, we'd never had the joy of reveling in his thought provoking, mind-bending, quirky, silly artistic perspectives. Personally, I thank God for such quirky, honest people.
In the late 1800s, Dr. Peebles wrote the following poem, which I think beautifully summarizes the point of my article today.
"Speak thy thought if thou believ'st it;
Let it jostle whom it may;
E'en though the unwise scorn it,
Or the obstinate gainsay;
Every seed that grows tomorrow
Lies beneath a clod today.
If our sires (the noble hearted
Pioneers of things to come),
Had like some been weak and timid,
Traitors to themselves, and dumb,
Where would be our present knowledge?
Where the hoped Millennium?
-James Martin Peebles, MD, MA, FAS, PhD"