Find Something to Smile About
By Summer Bacon
Knowledge is a wonderful thing. Whether we are reading a book, or lounging on the patio in the afternoon sunshine, we are always learning.
Knowledge put into action is an even better thing.
I'm sure you've known someone who reads mountains of books, or studies Buddhism or the Three Principles of Dr. Peebles, or obsessively attends spiritual seminars and workshops. That's a wonderful thing. But do they put what they learn into action, or are they just living from one epiphany to the next? Perhaps you know someone who faithfully attends church, sits in the front pew, hangs onto every word that the preacher says about loving your neighbor, nods their head in agreement, and then practically runs down some poor Grandma in their haste to get out of the parking lot.
We can espouse living a loving life, but all the talk about love in the world is dead in the water without actively putting it into motion.
I'm learning this very tough lesson while living in San Diego.
I used to live in the Verde Valley in Arizona, where I lived and shopped in the Sedona and Cottonwood areas. People, for the most part, are very friendly there. It seems that the locals smile all the time, let others go ahead in traffic, and always wave as they pass total strangers. For the most part, when I lived there I knew the employees at the local stores, such as Rick at Fry's grocery store and Connie at WalMart. It's a very community oriented area, and I miss it terribly. Going to the grocery store was always fun because I might run into old friends, or make a new acquaintance by chatting with someone at the store exit as we wait for a monsoon to pass by, or a snow flurry to subside.
I describe my Arizona world as being so ideal that my California friend teases me that it sounds like I was living in The Truman Show. Perhaps. But, the difference is, my life in Arizona was real, not a television set.
It's a wee bit different where I live now. The Ralph's parking lot where I live is tiny and crowded. It seems people are always grumpy and anxious to get from point A to point B. The lines are long, and the employees aren't always very pleasant. I always seems to manage to upset people when I back my van out of a parking space, since my van is big and takes up a lot of room.
My neighbors put a note on my van saying that I should have pulled up another foot and a half because "parking around here is scarce." A foot and a half? Sheesh. If I'd done that, I would have destroyed the beautiful morning glory plant that hangs down past the curb.
The mailman drops a package on the front porch, and when I acknowledge him and shout a cheerful, "Thank you!" he doesn't look back, and then slams the gate.
Take a walk, and people will go out of their way to cross the street so that they don't have to walk past you.
What in the heck is that all about? Do I have cooties?
Well, frankly, no. All of this is just another opportunity for growth for me. We're on the school called planet earth, and I'm in a class called, "Putting Love Into Action." I thought I'd already learned that lesson, but maybe this time I'm going for my doctorate.
You see, I teach about love, and I channel about love. It's not only a requirement of my own soul's journey to abide in that truth, it's a responsibility that I have as a spiritual teacher. How can I teach that which I have not learned for myself? I can impart knowledge, but better to demonstrate truth by living the life that I teach. You know: walking the talk.
I admit, I've felt pretty downhearted, dreading every trip to the grocery store lately, and then also feeling terribly self conscious every time I park my van on the street. It has been bad enough that I've wanted, with every fiber of my being, to run back home to the comfort of Arizona. But, for now, my lessons and challenges, simply and silly as they may seem, are here.
I was driving out of the Ralph's parking lot after a particularly disheartening shopping trip. Everything had been difficult. I'd tried the underground parking, and it was crowded and the spaces were tiny. It was a noisy, dirty day in the market, and by the time I got back to my van, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. So, there I was, waiting for a pedestrian to cross in front of me: a man with no legs who rolled his wheelchair in front of me. He looked at me and smiled and nodded a "thank you," and I smiled back. Then I heard a voice, "Find something to smile about, Summer."
Yes, that was the answer. Find something to smile about. The light went on in my heart and in my head, and I would find something to smile about from that minute forward.
Since then, I have made several trips to Ralph's. I don't worry about a parking space, and generally find one that is very close to the store and easy to maneuver. I smile and let others take the spaces that won't work for me. I smile and wave to someone if they cut me off, even if they do it on purpose. I smile and say "hello" to total strangers, even if they don't smile back. I talk to the clerks in the store, and audibly revel at the great job that the produce manager is doing in stocking the shelves, even though he is soooooo grumpy all the time. I make comments to the other shoppers, smiling and apologizing when we almost crash our carts together, even if it's not my fault.
And, guess what? People are starting to smile back. The clerks are talking to me, and looking me in the eye. One even kept her checkstand open a little longer for me, though she was already technically supposed to be on her break. The produce manager? Well, he actually cast a glance my way, and showed a slight-very slight-grin today. (It's progress!) My neighbors? They smile and wave more often. The mailman actually turns to see whether he is being acknowledged by me now, and he waves and smiles, and I even think I heard him say, "Have a nice day!"
And, today, I walked to the farmer's market that is just a couple of blocks away. It felt good to be out in the ocean air. People were walking back to their homes carrying loads of fresh, organic vegetables in boxes and laundry baskets on their shoulders. One woman held a tray full of new plants-herbs for her garden-and she smiled and said "hello" as we waited together for the light to change at a major intersection. The fish guy at the market was a delight, coaxing me to go to another farmer's market on Saturday. "We need more shoppers," he said. I promised I'd make it there one weekend.
As I walked back to my apartment, carrying my bags of "poolball squash" (a round sort of zucchini), and kumquats (a whole basket for only $3), I saw a little old lady walking up the little hill-using a walker. She was trying to kick stones out of her way so that her walker would roll more smoothly. I was impressed at her patience. I could only see her from the back, and would you believe...? The thought that crossed my mind at first was, "Well, she must be pretty grumpy, having to push that walker. I mean, look at the way she's kicking at those stones." I immediately shook that nasty thought out of my head, and decided instead to find something to smile about. I approached her very slowly, careful to give her a fairly wide berth so as not to upset her arduous stride, or throw her off balance in any way. I walked gently beside her for a moment, smiled and said cheerfully, "Good morning!"
The light of God could not have been brighter than her smile! She turned her head towards me with the biggest smile you can imagine. Her white hair was glistening in the sunlight, and her eyes sparkled. She was wearing a lovely dress, and she had on lipstick and earrings. She had taken the time to dress up for her Sunday morning stroll. She was absolutely beautiful. Her eyes crinkled and she said, "Well, good morning! How are you?"
"I'm well, thank you! And you?" I said, now filled with unabashed joy.
"I'm wonderful," she said.
I thought, in response, "You certainly are."
If we take our knowledge of love, and put it into action in our lives, we can rise above circumstances that, at first, seem insurmountable. Certainly a few grumpy people in a supermarket is not exactly like living life in Auschwitz. And, I also haven't lost any money in the stock market lately (I don't own stocks). My van is difficult to drive, but at least I have wheels.
Times are tough for a lot of people right now, but we all need to-and can-find something to smile about. I learned this lesson at the age of nine, when my Grandpa died after falling out of a cherry tree in Ohio. My Mom told me that everyone ate and drank and laughed at the memorial as they remembered Grandpa and his antics. She said his spirit filled the room! They didn't talk about the tragedy of how he died, they focused on the joy of how he lived.
From what I have seen in San Diego, it's not that people aren't willing to be kind and to care, it's just that (maybe) they believe that no one else is kind and cares. The mailman didn't mean to ignore me. He probably couldn't believe his ears when he heard someone shouting "thank you" to him for a job that is most often taken for granted. The same thing with the produce manager. Maybe he's never had anyone oogle at his avocados before (wink).
If someone else can't find something to smile about, share your smile with them. Remind them that life's not so bad that they can't show a little teeth and gum. Isn't it interesting that smiling can be so difficult for us to do, and that it has to be coaxed out of some of us? This doesn't make sense, if you think about it.
You see, I remember learning in high school that it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. Smiling is easy. It can be done anytime, anywhere, and for no reason at all!
Hmm...now, that's knowledge worth putting into action.