Love: The Anti-Aging Remedy



By Summer Bacon

I saw a most disturbing body lotion advertisement in a women's magazine the other day. It showed a fairly abstract photograph of a naked woman curled up in a ball. The focal point of the photograph was the crease that formed at the bend of her elbow. The ad stated something like this (I am paraphrasing): "Our product is not just for the crow's feet that form around your eyes." The insinuation was that any place that we have crinkles (i.e. the bend of our elbows, bend of our knees, etc.) we have crow's feet. Of course, the company was advertising body lotion that they claimed would diminish these unsightly crinkles.

C'mon. Am I alone in my thinking, or is this the most ridiculous, overboard, outrageously exaggerated, advertising campaign that you've ever heard about? I simply cannot fathom that anyone would actually read that advertisement and think, in horror, "MY GOD! I have crow's feet in the bend of my elbow!"

Frankly, I did. Just for a second, I was lulled into the false belief that I had overlooked this tragic condition of aging. Just for a second, I thought, "I really need to get some of that lotion." I mean, I'm the Lotion Queen! I'm a sitting duck. A sucker. A vain, aging idiot, struggling with...okay, maybe I'm going overboard here. Dr. Peebles wouldn't like me talking that way (although he would have loving allowance for it). Nevertheless, I swear I keep Oil of Olay and L'Oreal in business with all the lotions that I put under my eyes, on my face and neck. Daytime creams, night creams, soothing eye gels, collagen line fillers for that nasty little line that has been developing between my eyes because of the way that Dr. Peebles scrunches my eyes shut so tightly, and furrows my brow. Name the lotion, and I've probably tried it.

The only lotion I've ever used and gotten real results from is Vaseline Nightly Effects. Fantastic! Put it on before bed and it not only smoothes your skin, but you'll sleep like a baby. I don't know what's in it, and I don't care. All I know is, it works.

But, I'm getting off the subject here.

You see, it was just for one second that I almost believed the propaganda that I was reading and seeing in that advertisement. A fool and her money are easily parted, and I was just about to be the fool. Instead, one of my spirit guides hit me over the head with a spiritual two-by-four that said, "Fool, love thyself!" I realized I had an opportunity to conquer this whole fear of wrinkles thing once and for all.

I'm forty-seven years old, and I admit that I've had issues with aging. There is a duality I feel with this whole issue, because I know that our bodies are temporary vessels, and that they are not who we are. I know that our beauty is on the inside, in our heart and soul. I know that some of the most beautiful people I know have rolls of fat around their bellies, crinkles around their eyes, and spider veins on their legs. Their eyes shine and their hearts radiate love. I melt in the presence of their grace, compassion and kindness, and only see them as beautiful, inside and out. I wouldn't change a thing about them. So, why can't I have that same compassion for myself?

Growing up, I was anything but superficial when it came to my choice of a guy. I was never attracted to the guys who were muscle bound. The teen heartthrobs did nothing for me. I loved the guys who were a little different. A funny nose, a crooked smile, scraggly hair, a little pot belly, a little too short, or a little too tall. Those were the guys for me.

So, again, why couldn't I have that same compassion for myself?

The answer to this question could fill a book (and maybe someday, it will). In brief, I dealt with bulimia, I was overweight, then I was severely underweight, I had low self-esteem, and shyness, and self loathing for decades before I was finally able to look in the mirror and appreciate me. I don't have the same concerns about my physicality anymore, because I have worked very hard to understand that I have one body, and I may as well love it now. I know that the most beautiful part of anyone is a radiant smile that comes from the heart, and that's where I put my emphasis.

Yet, now and then, I find myself reverting to old patterns, especially as I see the puffiness around my eyes that never goes away, and the little lines developing in my skin. The advertisements really do their work. In fact, they insidiously creep...very slowly...under your skin. The irony is, I never look at anyone who has wrinkles and think, "Eew! Yuck!" In fact, I think that wrinkles and crinkles look very beautiful. Older people look so soft and gentle. The lines around the eyes simply make their smile look that much brighter.

So, once again, why can't I simply love that very same thing about myself?

The answer is, I can. Through sheer will, determination, and a lot of prayer, I recently had a miracle work in my life. I was getting ready to step into the shower one morning and, as always, I glanced in the mirror at my tired face. I never remove my makeup at night, and so I always kind of laugh at the way my eyelashes clump together during the night. My hair is so over processed with Excellence by L'Oreal hair coloring that my hair turns into a dehydrated beehive by morning. (I wouldn't change a thing about my blond hair, though. I really do love it. And, I'm worth it. Hee, hee.)

Anyway, when I glanced in the mirror that morning, I smiled at myself as I always do, and I noticed the developing crinkles around my eyes (as I always do). This time, when I stopped smiling, for the first time ever, the crinkles didn't go away! But, I didn't think, "Oh God! I've got crow's feet!" No, I didn't! Not at all! I thought, in the most genuine way, "Wow! Isn't that pretty? I love the way those upswept lines make me look like I'm smiling all the time." Then, without another thought, I stepped into the shower.

As I prepared to wash my face I began to think about how lovely it was to watch myself aging, and I wondered how I'd look one day, once God was finished with his portrait called Summer Bacon. I was sincerely and joyfully thinking about this, when it struck me: I was thinking about aging in a positive way! The fear was gone. The judgment was gone. The love was there, and had healed me!

I believe that, when we are hard on ourselves, we really ought to give ourselves a time out. I had a friend who, when her children were arguing, would sit them at a table with a plate of cookies and glasses of milk, and she would tell them that they couldn't leave until they made up. Of course, they would eat the cookies and milk and silently stare each other down until one of them would laugh and spurt milk out their nose, and the joy in their hearts and love for one another was re-established.

About fourteen years ago, I gave myself a time out just like this. I was sick of focusing on my body image. I was sick of putting myself down every time I looked in the mirror. I knew that if I didn't come to terms with myself physically, and love myself, that God could very quickly taketh away that which I was given. In other words, I didn't want to have to learn the lesson of self-love through some tough God-given physical challenge. Instead, I decided I wanted to learn the lesson quickly. I was willing to do my homework.

I prayed to God, and I asked Dr. Peebles for a solution to my physical dilemma. How could I ever fall in love with me, and accept myself "as is?" His answer, "Take a time out."

At his encouragement, I stood in front of a mirror and looked at every lump and bump on my body. I stood there for more than an hour, trying to find something to love about every "flaw" that I thought I saw. I did this everyday, day after day, until I could look in the mirror and no longer see flaws; just beautiful me. It wasn't vanity. It was acceptance and appreciation that I was developing. I felt so good, and my days were so much happier, because my confidence was building.

Now, more often than not, where I once saw aging, I now see growth. Love heals all things. It's even the anti-aging remedy. I'm kind of proud of that line between my eyebrows. It means, "Dr. Peebles was here."

Oh, and by the way...I do have crow's feet around the bend of my elbows. I guess that means, my elbows are smiling at me.