"I'll Answer It!"


By Summer Bacon

For years I have been awakened in the middle of the night by a phantom doorbell. It's loud, outside of my head, and definitely not part of a dream. It's so loud that it startles me, and I awaken with my heart pounding in my chest. This is very disconcerting since I have often lived alone with my two daughters, and I have had to make the decision whether to get up and see who is at the door, or lay awake and convince myself that "it's nothing" and go back to sleep. Usually I opt to lay still in bed, panicked, catching my breath for about five or ten minutes, with my ears attuned to the front of the house, just in case the sound of the doorbell was really heard in this dimension. Then I get up, slowly creep to the front of the house, and carefully peer out the window or peephole. Only once did I actually see something moving on the front porch: javalina...these really big, wonderful, boar-like animals that are common in the Verde Valley where I live. I doubted whether they had actually rung the doorbell, however.

I never know when the phantom doorbell is going to ring. So, when it rang again the other night, it was equally as startling as on any other occasion.

"DING-DONG!"

This time the doorbell was louder and more demanding than I'd ever heard it before. At first I thought it was my twenty-one year old daughter coming home from a night out. Perhaps she'd forgotten her key. Then, I quickly remembered that she was home, in bed early that night.

I propped myself up on my elbows and gazed out my bedroom window. I leave the blinds open at night so that when I awaken in the middle of the night, I can quickly find comfort and reassurance in the millions of stars that bespeckle the night sky where I live. I love the sky...especially the stars, which have always stood as reminders to me of how small I am, and how small my problems are in the scheme of things. I look to the heavens and am reminded of how great God is, and how the possibilities are endless, as numerous as the stars in the heavens. I am reminded that we are not finite beings, we are infinite.

In a sleepy moment, as I gazed at the heavens and felt my heart beating rapidly, I finally did something I'd never done before, and decided to "answer" the call of the doorbell.

"Who's there?" I said aloud as I nestled down again into my pillows.

"God." The answer was loud and immediate. My eyes flew open as I lay in stunned silence.

Then I heard Him say, "Who am I?"

I didn't hesitate. The answer seemed to come straight from my heart. I spoke aloud again: "You are the creator of the universe."

"Yes. It is easier to create than to destroy."

To say that I marveled in wonder at this conversation, would be an understatement. When God speaks to me, He has a voice. I hear it distinctly, and it rises above any potential chatter in my head. It is clear, calm and soothing. The love that is carried into my heart with each word is undeniably grand and God-like. Doubt, fear, and skepticism melt in the presence of that kind of love. There is not a question in my mind about to Whom I am speaking.

I believe what prompted this conversation was my endless chatter to God every night for the past few weeks. What's that old adage? Oh, yeah..."The squeaky wheel gets the grease." I have talked to God each night for hours on end, telling Him about my problems and my fears, asking for Him to handle things for me, or offer guidance as to what I can do to improve my life, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and as of late, especially financially. I have been unable to figure out what I did "wrong" that got me into the financial mess I am in right now. Like so many other people, I am cutting back on expenses, trying not to buy into economic fear, and attempting to maintain a positive outlook on my financial future. I have been frustrated with the fact that my bank balance (and, yes, I do thank God that I have a balance) always seems to be predictably the same or less-than, no matter what measures I take to improve things. I hadn't received any great revelations during these one-way conversations, but I always end by telling God, "I know that when it is time for me to know what to do, You will make it abundantly clear to me."

So when I heard His next words to me, my eyes grew large with wonder.

"When you create with resentment, that is what you put into your bank account, and that is why it doesn't grow."

Huh? I gazed out into the darkness, trying to comprehend the meaning of these words in my life. Thankfully, God was there to help explain. Ouch.

"Summer, you complain about having to work so hard, instead of rejoicing in the fact that you can work, and celebrating the beauty of what it is you are creating through that work. You put money into your bank account, feeling resentful that it isn't enough, that you are in lack, instead of realizing that it is a start towards the financial abundance you want to experience. Every time you make a deposit, you are depositing resentment. Deposit it with love, and it will grow!"

I lay in the darkness, and sheepishly recounted my grumpy deposit moments. He was right. Lately, I had forgotten to celebrate my life and my work. I was just going through the motions, feeling so downhearted about the many difficult circumstances of the past year that I had forgotten to maintain an attitude of gratitude. I wasn't just depositing resentment into my bank account, but I was depositing despair into my heart, sadness into my consciousness, frustration into my days, agony into my body.

Darn. And, I thought I'd done a pretty good job of keeping a stiff upper lip and staying positive this year, through heartbreak, deaths, minor car accidents, a scary (but temporary) medical issue, empty nesting, and more. Well, I suppose I have remained positive for the most part...just enough to maintain mediocrity in my life. But, now I want to experience growth and abundance, and God has handed me the key to understanding how to do it.

The funny thing is, as I write this article, I realize that I have been offered many beautiful and loving deposits this year...ones that have kept me feeling abundant, and have helped me to maintain a strong footing in my life when I could have emotionally collapsed. I am referring to the endless stream of loving notes and testimonials about how my spiritual work has affected my clients, friends and family members, and the incredible outpouring of support at times when my life was in crisis. I absolutely know that I have the great fortune to awaken each day with the joyful opportunity of providing a vessel for Spirit to save a life emotionally, physically or spiritually, or offer inspiration, solace or comfort to people.

Hmmm...I didn't know until this moment how this article was going to tie in to becoming a Thanksgiving message for you. But, God works in mysterious ways. I said a prayer before I commenced to writing this article, "Dear God, grant me focus in writing this article...and...by the way...I want to somehow make it relate to the spirit of the holiday."

Well, I suppose it's simply time for me to say, "Thank you, dear God, for the love, energy, kindness and abundance that my clients, friends and family members have deposited into my life. May they experience this a hundred fold in their own lives. I pray, too, that they will feel the upliftment and encouragement that You have offered to me, and that they will know peace in their hearts, love in their homes, and great emotional, physical, spiritual and financial abundance in their lives."

From the bottom of my heart, and the depths of my soul, I wish all of you the very happiest of Thanksgivings ever. And, I thank each and every one of you for the love, kindness and support that you have shown me over the past fourteen years...and, especially during the year of 2008.

To view a beautiful painting titled, "Christ Knocking at Heart's Door" by the artist, Warner Sallman, Click Here. Thank you to Bev Scott for telling me about this painting and sharing this link with me.

If you look carefully at the left side of the doorway arch in the painting, and the arch created by the overhang support, it will mingle with the light of Christ and form a beautiful, radiant heart.

Oh, and notice that Jesus is knocking, and there is no handle on His side of the door. It's up us to answer and open the door when God knocks...or, when He rings the doorbell, as the case may be.

God bless you, and have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving!