Overhaul Your Life
“Never in your eternal soul have you been the victim, but always the creator.”
-Dr. Peebles
By Summer Bacon
I have often said that life (i.e., all that “stuff to do” that we deem important and necessary without really thinking it through) constantly gets in the way ofliving.
For example, have you ever tallied up the hours you spend answering and reading frivolous emails? Or what about the countless hours spent in front of the television watching the ongoing “what if” reports and debates after the recent terrorist attacks? To me, it's this kind of stuff that takes the life out of life.
Now, mind you, I've bought into a lot of the technological advances, some out of necessity, some for convenience, some because my kids whined long and loud enough to get them, and some just because I thought they were cool. I have three lines on my home phone (one for home, one for business, one for my fiancé Karl's photography business), plus a business line at B ev's house, a separate telephone for my children so that their respective fathers can have access to them without having to hear my voice. All of these phones have voice mail on them. Plus I have three cell phones “for safety reasons.” Each daughter has a cellphone (one is a photo phone), and one for me. I've made some strict rules about cell phone usage, especially after I was whalloped with a $475 cell phone bill for “overages” on minutes used when my daughter was away at culinary school. These phones are now “only for emergencies,” with the exception of in-home calling plan cell-to-cell phone calls, or when I need the phone for business purposes en route to my destination.
Whew. It's exhausting just writing about it. And, as Dr. Peebles' would say, “That's the tip of the iceberg.”
I also have two computers and two printers that continually come up with new ways to annoy me. I have email and high-speed internet service. I use online banking and bill paying. I have a web site that needs to be reviewed and maintained. I have a P.O. Box, a home address, and two bank accounts. I have an accountant. I even, just recently, got a Federal Employer Identification Number! Eek!
I never knew spiritual work could be so carnally cumbersome.
Oh, and I have an SUV. I don't have medical insurance, and constantly weigh whether or not it is necessary. Or perhaps I should go for disability insurance. Or maybe mortgage insurance. And, everytime I think about getting rid of my homeowner's insurance for repairs (I don't even remember what that insurance is called) I just know that the toilet will go out or the air conditioner will blow up.
When you think about the corner we've painted ourselves into with all of these so-called “techological advances” it's mindboggling. I mean, look at NASA's “brilliant” plan for blowing a hole in the side of Comet Tempel 1 (see July 2005 issue of Sedona Journal of Emergence for Dr. Peebles' perspective on this). A NASA scientist, overjoyed at the success of this effort, said that they had “set a precedent for others.” For what? To blow up the moon to see what is inside? Apparently the Tempel 1 “Deep Impact” project was important because we don't really know how the universe was formed, and Tempel 1 holds key clues deep within its nucleus. Well then, I guess the next time I want to find out what's in my neighbors house, I should just blow it up! This is the mentality of a child who, in curiousity about how things work, takes apart his mother's sewing machine...with a sledgehammer! We may never know how the universe was formed, but it looks like we are rapidly learning how to take it apart! (Puts a new twist on that phrase, “What God has put together, let no man put assunder,” don't you think?)
My point is this: it's time to get back to basics and get our lives into balance. Of course, the only reason that I am moved to share this is because I need to do it! I am in process of overhauling my life. I have been examining my work, relationships, home life, finances, email, phone conversations, television time, time spent with God time, writing time...everything. I am asking myself the question, “What really serves me?” and am starting to prioritize the things/tasks in my life, and meanwhile clearing out the deadwood. B etter, tastier fruit comes from a tree that has been properly pruned back.
Just one month ago I was a tree of lifelessness, rather than a tree of life.
Clearing the deadwood means clearing out extraneous tasks that do not support me or my work. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the last person to jump up from the desk, dinner table or bathroom to rush to answer the telephone. I simply refuse to let the telephone run my life. I have caller ID for a reason: because I will always anwer the phone when one of my children calls. Anyone else can leave a voice message. I've lost friendships because I am painfully slow in returning phone calls. But, the reality is, I don't really like talking on the phone...so why should I do it? I also made a decision to no longer answer emails that aren't completely urgent and necessary for my life or business. I delete junk mail or save it to file to read later if it looks interesting. I've stopped cluttering my refrigerator with leftovers that I know no one will ever eat. When I forget my cell phone, I don't turn the car around to get it. I shred junk mail without opening it. I rarely try new products, and save an incredible amount of time and money by sticking with the ones that I know work instead of buying into the latest craze in junk food or gizmos.
Clearing the deadwood can even mean clearing out attitudes that are counterproductive. A televangelist named Joyce Meyer once told a story about how upset she would get at dinnertime because every night one of her four children would inevitably spill milk which would then run across the table and into the cracks separating the leaves of the table, run down the legs and onto the floor. She'd be down on her hands and knees cleaning up the milk, complaining all the while as kids cried. Then, to add insult to injury, one of the children would accidently kick her in the head. This same scenario repeated itself night after night until one night she was on her hands and knees and suddenly heard God say to her, “You know, Joyce, no amount of complaining and anger is going to make that milk run back up the legs of this table, across the placemat and back into that glass!” Naturally she laughed at this, and was finally able to calm down. Dinnertime was forever changed in the Meyer household. In other words, “don't cry over spilled milk.”
Many years ago when my children were very young, I spent a considerable amount of my time taking my husband's emotional temperature everyday, trying to avoid confrontation and his abusive behavior. It was during this time that I made a decision to create beautiful memories every day for my children. I would find something to do with them or say to them that would bring lasting joy to their lives. I didn't shower them with money and presents. I did things like sing with them. Tickle them. Give them Flintstones vitamins and let them choose their own character. I read to them. I lovingly framed their crayon pictures and displayed them proudly throughout the house. I did anything to create joy amidst the chaos of abuse. And, guess what? It worked! My children have awesome memories of walks in the woods, and feeding potatoes to the javalinas. There were lots of trips to Grammy and Grandpa's house. We collected cicada shells when those wonderful noisy bugs were in abundance. Even when my soul was crying for mercy and freedom inside, I learned how to create my emotional freedom by “doing unto others.” It's a valuable lesson I will never forget.
There are other little ways in which you can truly enhance the quality of your life. It requires no money at all. It requires simple determination. For example, if you have ever worked in a corporate environment, you have probably experienced first-hand the backbiting and manipulation that goes on behind closed doors. Whenever I worked, there always seemed to be one scapegoat in the office that everyone disliked, put down, and made their problems about. It's so easy to get caught up in that kind of unkindness. The gossipy, whiny complainers will gnaw at your spirit until at last you cave in and join them. It's disgusting. I did it, and fortunately had a boss (who subsequently became a lifetime friend) who looked at me and said, “Summer, I am appalled at you! Of all people, I thought you had more compassion than that! I was sure you would never stoop so low as to involve yourself in office gossip.” Gads, that hurt a lot. But it was true, and her words helped me to reshape my life. Be the bigger person. Don't allow yourself to waste time with petty gossip. Sure, I truly believe that at times we need to get something off of our chest and consult with a trusted friend or family member about something that is going on in our life...and it just might pertain to someone we mutually know. That's all about giving and receiving insight. Gossip, however, is a detroyer, meant to rip holes in another person's character. It's a way to control the world. If I can demean and diminish the beauty of the actress Katie Holmes, then I can feel better about my own inadequacies, for example.
Make a decision to spend time with uplifting people. Uplifting people are those you don't have to compromise yourself to be around. They are those who encourage you to come up higher in yourself, and to walk in grace and compassion. At the same time, make a decision to be the uplifting person! When you are with people who are trying to drag you down, encourage them to come up higher. I did this with a man in California who was hunting rats in his mother-in-law's backyard. He felt justified that he had to kill them because they were eating the rabbit's food. Without trying to change him, I talked about my feelings about the rats, and my reverence for all of life. I honored my perspectives and shared them without proselytizing. In about five minutes, he hung his head, took his son's hand and went inside the house. “C'mon son,” he said, “I've been reformed.” That wasn't my goal or plan. I was simply honoring my need to voice my own perspective in a gentle and loving way that allowed for his perspective as well.
My father, an Emmy award winning television Director, used to tell me that every great love story has as its basis some kind of misunderstanding between two people. We watch in anticipation of reconciliation. I believe that it would so wonderful if we could all just learn to beg to differ when we have a disagreement, instead of demanding compliance with one another. If someone doesn't agree with you, so what? If they believe an untruth about you, so what? The relationship you have with yourself is the only one that really matters. Only you know the truth about you. You can lie and deceive and manipulate the world around you, but you have to live with yourself.
Come out, come out, whereever you are! It's time that we start sharing of ourselves with vulnerability and integrity. It's time to be honest with one another. I have always told my children, “What if you never told a lie? Not even a little one. What do you think people would think about you?” Well, at first, of course, my children responded with the usual fears such as, “I could get in trouble,” or “They won't like me,” or “ But, I need to do it to protect myself/my finances/my reputation.” My point in this is that, if you never told a lie, you'd be known as an honest person. People would say, “If you want to know the truth, go ask her!” You wouldn't have to hide from the IRS, or your best friend. Most of all, you'd feel really good about yourself.
It's not too late to start living life in integrity. This is an area that I believe is way out of balance in most of us. It can be hard and time consuming owning our stuff. But the rewards are tremendous. No shades of gray anymore. You'll become aware of your likes and dislikes, because you will admit them to yourself. You won't get into relationships that you know from the outset won't serve you. You will trust and listen to your own intuition. You will learn how to read the sign posts in life, and know that saying “no” to one thing can open you up to even greater opportunities. It's not easy. It can be painful and lonely at first when everyone else seems to do life differently.
It's time to give back the extra change to the teller, and to fess up when the cashier didn't notice the box of wine on the bottom of your cart. Put your name, phone number and insurance information on the parked car you bumped, even if you think there wasn't damage. Don't lie to wriggle out of an engagement. Simply say, “I overbooked myself,” or “Frankly, I'm too tired.” Better yet, don't say “yes” to things that your heart is crying “no” about and you will find that you will have fewer of these uncomfortable moments.
It's the little things that can create a large resonance in your life. I encourage and invite you to start thinking and praying about ways that you can overhaul your life, starting today. Your time is in your hands. Write that letter to a friend. Turn off the phone. Make prayer a priority, not something you squeeze into the day.
“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”
You have to live with yourself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Put life back into your life, by making yourself a priority. It will make the world—your world—a much better place.
-Dr. Peebles
By Summer Bacon
I have often said that life (i.e., all that “stuff to do” that we deem important and necessary without really thinking it through) constantly gets in the way ofliving.
For example, have you ever tallied up the hours you spend answering and reading frivolous emails? Or what about the countless hours spent in front of the television watching the ongoing “what if” reports and debates after the recent terrorist attacks? To me, it's this kind of stuff that takes the life out of life.
Now, mind you, I've bought into a lot of the technological advances, some out of necessity, some for convenience, some because my kids whined long and loud enough to get them, and some just because I thought they were cool. I have three lines on my home phone (one for home, one for business, one for my fiancé Karl's photography business), plus a business line at B ev's house, a separate telephone for my children so that their respective fathers can have access to them without having to hear my voice. All of these phones have voice mail on them. Plus I have three cell phones “for safety reasons.” Each daughter has a cellphone (one is a photo phone), and one for me. I've made some strict rules about cell phone usage, especially after I was whalloped with a $475 cell phone bill for “overages” on minutes used when my daughter was away at culinary school. These phones are now “only for emergencies,” with the exception of in-home calling plan cell-to-cell phone calls, or when I need the phone for business purposes en route to my destination.
Whew. It's exhausting just writing about it. And, as Dr. Peebles' would say, “That's the tip of the iceberg.”
I also have two computers and two printers that continually come up with new ways to annoy me. I have email and high-speed internet service. I use online banking and bill paying. I have a web site that needs to be reviewed and maintained. I have a P.O. Box, a home address, and two bank accounts. I have an accountant. I even, just recently, got a Federal Employer Identification Number! Eek!
I never knew spiritual work could be so carnally cumbersome.
Oh, and I have an SUV. I don't have medical insurance, and constantly weigh whether or not it is necessary. Or perhaps I should go for disability insurance. Or maybe mortgage insurance. And, everytime I think about getting rid of my homeowner's insurance for repairs (I don't even remember what that insurance is called) I just know that the toilet will go out or the air conditioner will blow up.
When you think about the corner we've painted ourselves into with all of these so-called “techological advances” it's mindboggling. I mean, look at NASA's “brilliant” plan for blowing a hole in the side of Comet Tempel 1 (see July 2005 issue of Sedona Journal of Emergence for Dr. Peebles' perspective on this). A NASA scientist, overjoyed at the success of this effort, said that they had “set a precedent for others.” For what? To blow up the moon to see what is inside? Apparently the Tempel 1 “Deep Impact” project was important because we don't really know how the universe was formed, and Tempel 1 holds key clues deep within its nucleus. Well then, I guess the next time I want to find out what's in my neighbors house, I should just blow it up! This is the mentality of a child who, in curiousity about how things work, takes apart his mother's sewing machine...with a sledgehammer! We may never know how the universe was formed, but it looks like we are rapidly learning how to take it apart! (Puts a new twist on that phrase, “What God has put together, let no man put assunder,” don't you think?)
My point is this: it's time to get back to basics and get our lives into balance. Of course, the only reason that I am moved to share this is because I need to do it! I am in process of overhauling my life. I have been examining my work, relationships, home life, finances, email, phone conversations, television time, time spent with God time, writing time...everything. I am asking myself the question, “What really serves me?” and am starting to prioritize the things/tasks in my life, and meanwhile clearing out the deadwood. B etter, tastier fruit comes from a tree that has been properly pruned back.
Just one month ago I was a tree of lifelessness, rather than a tree of life.
Clearing the deadwood means clearing out extraneous tasks that do not support me or my work. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am the last person to jump up from the desk, dinner table or bathroom to rush to answer the telephone. I simply refuse to let the telephone run my life. I have caller ID for a reason: because I will always anwer the phone when one of my children calls. Anyone else can leave a voice message. I've lost friendships because I am painfully slow in returning phone calls. But, the reality is, I don't really like talking on the phone...so why should I do it? I also made a decision to no longer answer emails that aren't completely urgent and necessary for my life or business. I delete junk mail or save it to file to read later if it looks interesting. I've stopped cluttering my refrigerator with leftovers that I know no one will ever eat. When I forget my cell phone, I don't turn the car around to get it. I shred junk mail without opening it. I rarely try new products, and save an incredible amount of time and money by sticking with the ones that I know work instead of buying into the latest craze in junk food or gizmos.
Clearing the deadwood can even mean clearing out attitudes that are counterproductive. A televangelist named Joyce Meyer once told a story about how upset she would get at dinnertime because every night one of her four children would inevitably spill milk which would then run across the table and into the cracks separating the leaves of the table, run down the legs and onto the floor. She'd be down on her hands and knees cleaning up the milk, complaining all the while as kids cried. Then, to add insult to injury, one of the children would accidently kick her in the head. This same scenario repeated itself night after night until one night she was on her hands and knees and suddenly heard God say to her, “You know, Joyce, no amount of complaining and anger is going to make that milk run back up the legs of this table, across the placemat and back into that glass!” Naturally she laughed at this, and was finally able to calm down. Dinnertime was forever changed in the Meyer household. In other words, “don't cry over spilled milk.”
Many years ago when my children were very young, I spent a considerable amount of my time taking my husband's emotional temperature everyday, trying to avoid confrontation and his abusive behavior. It was during this time that I made a decision to create beautiful memories every day for my children. I would find something to do with them or say to them that would bring lasting joy to their lives. I didn't shower them with money and presents. I did things like sing with them. Tickle them. Give them Flintstones vitamins and let them choose their own character. I read to them. I lovingly framed their crayon pictures and displayed them proudly throughout the house. I did anything to create joy amidst the chaos of abuse. And, guess what? It worked! My children have awesome memories of walks in the woods, and feeding potatoes to the javalinas. There were lots of trips to Grammy and Grandpa's house. We collected cicada shells when those wonderful noisy bugs were in abundance. Even when my soul was crying for mercy and freedom inside, I learned how to create my emotional freedom by “doing unto others.” It's a valuable lesson I will never forget.
There are other little ways in which you can truly enhance the quality of your life. It requires no money at all. It requires simple determination. For example, if you have ever worked in a corporate environment, you have probably experienced first-hand the backbiting and manipulation that goes on behind closed doors. Whenever I worked, there always seemed to be one scapegoat in the office that everyone disliked, put down, and made their problems about. It's so easy to get caught up in that kind of unkindness. The gossipy, whiny complainers will gnaw at your spirit until at last you cave in and join them. It's disgusting. I did it, and fortunately had a boss (who subsequently became a lifetime friend) who looked at me and said, “Summer, I am appalled at you! Of all people, I thought you had more compassion than that! I was sure you would never stoop so low as to involve yourself in office gossip.” Gads, that hurt a lot. But it was true, and her words helped me to reshape my life. Be the bigger person. Don't allow yourself to waste time with petty gossip. Sure, I truly believe that at times we need to get something off of our chest and consult with a trusted friend or family member about something that is going on in our life...and it just might pertain to someone we mutually know. That's all about giving and receiving insight. Gossip, however, is a detroyer, meant to rip holes in another person's character. It's a way to control the world. If I can demean and diminish the beauty of the actress Katie Holmes, then I can feel better about my own inadequacies, for example.
Make a decision to spend time with uplifting people. Uplifting people are those you don't have to compromise yourself to be around. They are those who encourage you to come up higher in yourself, and to walk in grace and compassion. At the same time, make a decision to be the uplifting person! When you are with people who are trying to drag you down, encourage them to come up higher. I did this with a man in California who was hunting rats in his mother-in-law's backyard. He felt justified that he had to kill them because they were eating the rabbit's food. Without trying to change him, I talked about my feelings about the rats, and my reverence for all of life. I honored my perspectives and shared them without proselytizing. In about five minutes, he hung his head, took his son's hand and went inside the house. “C'mon son,” he said, “I've been reformed.” That wasn't my goal or plan. I was simply honoring my need to voice my own perspective in a gentle and loving way that allowed for his perspective as well.
My father, an Emmy award winning television Director, used to tell me that every great love story has as its basis some kind of misunderstanding between two people. We watch in anticipation of reconciliation. I believe that it would so wonderful if we could all just learn to beg to differ when we have a disagreement, instead of demanding compliance with one another. If someone doesn't agree with you, so what? If they believe an untruth about you, so what? The relationship you have with yourself is the only one that really matters. Only you know the truth about you. You can lie and deceive and manipulate the world around you, but you have to live with yourself.
Come out, come out, whereever you are! It's time that we start sharing of ourselves with vulnerability and integrity. It's time to be honest with one another. I have always told my children, “What if you never told a lie? Not even a little one. What do you think people would think about you?” Well, at first, of course, my children responded with the usual fears such as, “I could get in trouble,” or “They won't like me,” or “ But, I need to do it to protect myself/my finances/my reputation.” My point in this is that, if you never told a lie, you'd be known as an honest person. People would say, “If you want to know the truth, go ask her!” You wouldn't have to hide from the IRS, or your best friend. Most of all, you'd feel really good about yourself.
It's not too late to start living life in integrity. This is an area that I believe is way out of balance in most of us. It can be hard and time consuming owning our stuff. But the rewards are tremendous. No shades of gray anymore. You'll become aware of your likes and dislikes, because you will admit them to yourself. You won't get into relationships that you know from the outset won't serve you. You will trust and listen to your own intuition. You will learn how to read the sign posts in life, and know that saying “no” to one thing can open you up to even greater opportunities. It's not easy. It can be painful and lonely at first when everyone else seems to do life differently.
It's time to give back the extra change to the teller, and to fess up when the cashier didn't notice the box of wine on the bottom of your cart. Put your name, phone number and insurance information on the parked car you bumped, even if you think there wasn't damage. Don't lie to wriggle out of an engagement. Simply say, “I overbooked myself,” or “Frankly, I'm too tired.” Better yet, don't say “yes” to things that your heart is crying “no” about and you will find that you will have fewer of these uncomfortable moments.
It's the little things that can create a large resonance in your life. I encourage and invite you to start thinking and praying about ways that you can overhaul your life, starting today. Your time is in your hands. Write that letter to a friend. Turn off the phone. Make prayer a priority, not something you squeeze into the day.
“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”
You have to live with yourself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Put life back into your life, by making yourself a priority. It will make the world—your world—a much better place.