To me it was a simple enough conversation. Having recently read a fascinating little book written by James McQuitty called, Christianity: The Sad and Shameful Truth, I thought I would share a bit of information from the book with my friend, Jacob.
I know James (Jim) quite well. Over the past several years he has created some beautiful YouTube videos using the messages of Dr. Peebles. He’s a very thoughtful and gentle soul, and a deep and clear thinker. So, when I heard about his book, I was naturally curious and had to read it.
As many of you know, I was at one time a Born Again Christian for a few years of my life, and I pretty much tormented anyone and everyone I knew with my evangelism, and staunch adherence to the Bible as being the word of God. I lived in perpetual fear of Satan, believed I was a sinner, and probably talked more about how to avoid Satan than how to actively and lovingly engage with God and Jesus Christ. My friends and family heaved a collective sigh of relief when I finally left the church after I realized the hypocrisy of the minister and congregation. I told God, “I’m sorry, but I can’t go to church anymore, and if that means I’m going to hell, then so be it.” In that moment I literally heard God’s voice say to me, “No matter where you are, I am there with you. I am ominiscient and omnipresent. I love you, Summer.” In hearing those words, all fear dissipated, and I knew the greater truth that God’s love is real and constant and unconditional.
Anyway, Jim’s book revealed in a simple, no-nonsense, and often hilarious manner, the many absurdities, atrocities, and contradictions in the Bible without diminishing the beauty, passion and love of Jesus.
So, I told Jacob, who was born into the Jewish faith, about Genesis 19, verses 31-36 in which the daughters of Lot get their father drunk, have sexual intercourse with him, and subsequently give birth to his sons.
Jacob’s response jarred me. “Oh my God, Summer, don’t you realize that this was thousands of years ago, and that their cultural and moral standards were different than they are today? You’re trying to demonize them for things that were acceptable in their time!”
The previously upbeat philosophical conversation between two old friends suddenly had a nasty chill hanging in the air. I shivered, and part of me wanted to hang up abruptly. Instead I paused and let Jacob’s words sink in. He was telling me how he was feeling.
And, um, actually, all I had done was read him the Bible passage, and he extrapolated a whole different story around that, as to my intentions, etc. I wasn’t trying to do anything other than share an interesting, and bizarre bit of the cultural and moral truth of that period of time as pointed out in my friend, Jim’s book. So, I said to Jacob, “Thank you for clarifying that point. You make a good point about their culture and moral standards. By today’s standards, it’s pretty sick and bizarre, but who am I to judge what they considered appropriate some 3,000 years ago? Thank you for enlightening me about that.”
As I acknowledged his perspective, Jacob calmed down and got very quiet. I could hear him rifling through his Bible. “Oh God,” he said softly, “Well, you’re right. I just read it in Genesis, and it’s also here in the book of…Jacob. My name. Wow… Yeah, that’s pretty sick.”
I smiled as I realized how good I felt not getting defensive, or even for a moment feeling like I needed to defend myself. “Don’t get mad, get interested,” I thought. It’s the lost art of conversation.
We all just want to be acknowledged. Myself included. And, this conversation ended with both of us feeling acknowledged, and ultimately we were in agreement about both of our perspectives. These were the cultural and moral standards back in the day, and by today’s standards those cultural and moral standards were pretty sick and bizarre.
The ice in our conversation thawed with the warmth of patience and love, without it getting overheated.
