I have just emerged from 12 years of caregiving and 15 months of physically, emotionally, and spiritually demanding work finishing up my Dad’s affairs after his death on December 21, 2021.
Some of you may remember that my Mom transitioned on June 12, 2012, which was the Summer Solstice. My Dad transitioned on the Winter Solstice in 2021. And, this year I finally moved to my own home on the first full day of the Spring Equinox. The next day was March 23, 2023, my first full day in my new house, and it also happened to be Dr. Peebles’ birthday. I didn’t plan it this way. It just happened.
From December 21, 2021 until March 21, 2023, I spent 15 months hauling and lifting, crying and laughing as I reminisced and went through every piece of paper, artwork, junk, and treasures. I simultaneously worked as Project Manager, coordinating with workers and my brother as we fixed up our Dad’s house for sale.
I felt tremendously isolated during those months. If not for the loving emails, cards, phone calls, physical and financial gifts, and loving prayers from so many of you, daily calls from my brother, and my wonderful and enthusiastic realtors, I don’t know how I would have managed. Sometimes emails would start with the words, “I know you are busy, and I don’t mean to bother you, but…” Well, I am glad you “bothered” me, because it was no bother at all.
My dear friend, Mother Pearl, visited me in my new home yesterday, and after considerable chatter about myself, I finally snapped myself out of my own need to share and asked her, “How are you doing?” and then I added, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go on all about me.” She cast a wide-eyed sharp (but loving) glance my way, and said, “Oh my goodness, please go on all about you!”
I replied, “Well, sometimes I tend to go on and on, and I don’t mean to bother you.”
She laughed her hearty, beautiful laugh and said, wisely, “PLEASE! Bother me!”
We locked gazes for a long moment, and I laughed too. “Oh Lord, I get it! Please bother me! Please tell me all about yourself, your trials and tribulations, joys and good times. It helps me to take the attention off of myself. I no longer have to sit with my own brain chatter.”
“Girrrl…” she said grinning, “You got it!” We had a long laugh together as we realized how much we need each other, and how much we absolutely love to bother to be bothered. It feels like love.
